I don’t get a box of clothes from PV.Body every month. I didn’t do the “Diet Bet.” I am not a FitFluential Ambassador (though I totally would be if they asked or ever opened up applications again). I never get asked by companies or events to give shit away and get free shit to write about it on here.
My blog just isn’t that cool.
But through reading fellow bloggers I did stumble across Under Armour’s “What’s Beautiful” Campaign. Amanda’s doing it, Heather is doing it, Ashley is doing it, too. So I checked it out. Under Armour is redefining the female athlete. Challenging women to set goals, push past their comfort zone, and redefine what beautiful means. They are looking for women to share their journey and to motivate and inspire other women. This can get you prizes and other swag from Under Armour.
I usually don’t do these things. They are really good ideas and I feel inspired by them, I love reading other people post about what they are doing for these campaigns and try to gain motivation out of it. But usually participating myself just never happens. I tend to sit the sidelines.
Why? Part of it is laziness. Sometimes it feels like another means of social media I need to keep up on. Between facebook, twitter, reader, and learning bloglovin’, I don’t always feel I have the time to do challenges and upload videos about my workouts. Daily tweets? Ain’t nobody got time for that.
But with the What’s Beautiful campaign I was forced to recognize the fact that some of the laziness is a copout for fear and self-doubt. Everyone is posting about what they think beauty is and what makes them feel beautiful. The fact that I have NO IDEA what I would say scares the hell out of me. I don’t feel beautiful right now at all.
I am not just sad and down over the fact that I have a foot injury that made me drop out of Pittsburgh and very likely the Cleveland marathon too, I am sad because I did it to myself. I took my training for granted. I got a big head. I subconsciously told myself on a regular basis that it was OK to miss a run because I was already so fit and conditioned anyway.
Then when I tried to be that strong badass runner that I felt I was back in October I got hurt. My body gave me the finger and said, “I’m out.” Now I am left feeling pretty upset. I’m mad at myself, I feel weak, I feel fat, I feel like a failure. And this COMPLETELY irrational list could go on.
(me feeling strong and beautiful at a happy weight running a sweet PR in a freakin’ santa shirt, for crying out loud)
So at this juncture, I simply can’t write a list of all the unconventional ways I feel beautiful. Alyssa has a great list, but I couldn’t put myself into any of those feelings right now. My self-confidence is pretty beat up. That’s why this campaign could not have come at a better time.
Beautiful is having self-confidence, acceptance, and loving yourself exactly as you are. And if my best most confident self was when I was crossing finish lines and smashing PRs, then thats where I want to be.
My Goal: To overcome injury, fear, and self-doubt and run a sub-5 marathon.
A recommitment to this winter’s goal for the spring. I am going to do it and I am going to get there the right way. I will.
If you would like to read more about Under Armour’s What’s Beautiful Campaign, click here. If you would like to see my page (there isn’t anything on it yet) or join my team with your running goals, click here.
Are you thinking about taking on the challenge? What makes you feel beautiful? Everyone’s idea is different, I’m hoping to find my own definition soon.